Random thought, define a life worth living? What is it? Who has one? How did that determination come to be an acceptable level of worth in society? Who/what determines what is worth living for? Fighting for? Dying for?
I am a mom, and I am a realist. I work hard to live my life in a way that my kids can be proud of. I may say things that don't always portray me in the best light, and do things that I'd rather not share with the world, but above any and everything, I love my kids. I work hard to provide a life for them. it isn't the best life, it hasn't been the easiest life, but it is our life. And we are happy in it. As of today, August 7th, 2010, my 3 girls are 20, 17, and 10. I have a grandson who will be 2 in January. My oldest daughter and her son share a birthday, she will be 21, he 2 on their next birthday together.
Being a realist has been one of the most eye opening, choices I have ever made. To me, being a realist doesn't mean that I am one of those in your face kind of people, but I definitely can tell you my opinion if asked. If you don't want to know, don't ask. I may not offer my opinion, but I won't lie to you if you have enough balls to ask.
It's funny some times how many random things go through my mind. Like what time does preseason football start, (august 8th, 2010, if anyone wants to know) and why do people who claim to have your best interests at heart do things that are rude, unacceptable and down right nasty at times? I have a mile long list of those. but I also have random thoughts on the general goodness of people and how I have tried to emulate their behaviors and it's been helping me along the way.
One person in particular that I truly enjoy watching is my 17 year old daughter. She is like this little flower, a couple of years ago, she was so fragile, almost broken... Couldn't bloom, always in the shadows, struggling and fighting to become the amazingly wondrous rose that I know she is now. I love that little girl. I love that amazing young woman, and I love what she is determined to become in her life-a God fearing, God loving lady of Christ. She is well on her way. I could probably learn things, from her 17 year old thought processes to my 41 year old still trying to find myself brain, that most people never learn or care to learn in their entire lives.
Other people that I learn from are my sisters, my dad, my mom, my brother. Some of the things that I learn from them aren't what TO DO in life, but maybe what NOT TO DO in life. For example, my mom. I love my mother dearly. I am grateful that she is living and breathing. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to call her up and give her hell if I should so choose, or tell her that I love her. She has been the up and down of my life. The steady, constant, always there when I need her kind of mom. She has also been the iron fist, the wrath, a true ball of anger and grudge holding like I have never seen! Yeah, I haven't always been a beacon of light towards her, but you go with what you know when you are a child, and that is a story for another time. I have become a better adult because of the trials I have faced with my mother. I have become my own person through determining what I will and what I won't tolerate from people around me, including myself and my own behaviors.
The point of this blog is truly simple, where I am now, where I've been, and learning who I am along that long, treacherous, some times emotionally wrecked... road.
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